By Slanted Light

This is fabulous! I love your first, breathless paragraph, which you manage to make look like one long sentence with that crafty "but" in there! You really create a sense of action and movement and urgency. I love the fact that the reader is immersed in the story straight away, matching the fact that the action is in full tilt. I feel like I'm reading the end of a story and have already read the remainder that comes before. You give us enough world-building for that. I love the way the lads interact. I love the way you describe (and observe) their (on screen) body language. The dialogue is perfect! I can utterly hear the words coming out of the characters' mouths in their voices, and it's so true to their on-screen banter. Forelock/fetlock - LOL! I really love this. Thanks for much for writing it.