Just because it's Monday morning... and heeee *g*

[byslantedlight]

Someone sent me this email rounder a while ago, and even though I've had it a few times before it makes me laugh out loud every time... so this time I thought I'd share... *g* It's probably not even close to true, but I really wish it was... *g* Anyway - happy Monday!
o0o
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted....

Qantas' pilots (marked with a P )
Solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an S)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics..

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel....sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Comments

[lukadreaming.livejournal.com]

This is one of my all-time favourites and makes me laugh every time I read it!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Hee - you're quick! *vbg*

And yes! I love it to death - I can just see the groundcrew rolling their eyes too... It always makes me laugh! Happy Monday!

[kiwisue.livejournal.com]

*g* Yes, I've seen these before too, but they're still good!

Happy Monday!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

You know, when I think about it, this was probably one of the first email rounders I ever got, way back in 1996 or some bygone time like that... and I still adore it... *g* I like the one about the Canadian/US naval stand off too... *vbg*

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Hee - always my reaction! *g*

[caffyolay.livejournal.com]

Haven't seen this before. *Hilarious*!!!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Tis one of my favourite of favourites! *vbg*

[miwahni.livejournal.com]

No-one can say that Qantas engineers don't have a sense of humour!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Hee - I think that's what the original email said too! *g*

[solosundance.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA!

*g*

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Heeee! *vbg*

[scherwood]

epic~ *g*

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Innit! *g*

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

Love it - I've never seen it before, definitely brightened my Monday, thanks!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Hee - it's one of my favourites ever, this one and the one about the American Navy and Canada... *g* But mostly this one - I can so imagine them all standing around rolling their eyes! *g*

[moth2fic.livejournal.com]

I giggled a lot and am copying it for plane-crazy husband.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Excellent! I keep forgetting your Mr Moth likes planes! This is one of my favourite things, it doesn't matter how many times I read it... *g*